Epiphany
by Pen Thief
Summary: Pigman fic: I don't know how to convince you, Lorraine" He said suddenly. I looked up in surprise, I forgot I was there. I forgot I was on him. Oh god.. I'm crazy. "It wasn't anyone's fault.. And if you can't believe it, I don't know what you'll believ


**Title :** Epiphany 

**Author :** Penthief

**Publish Date :** September 1st 2009. _(Old version was published on December 18th 2008 )_

**Disclaimer :** I don't own the Pigman Novel, Neither do I own any of their beautiful characters =]

**Genre : **Romance/Hurt/Comfort

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**Authors Note : ********This is an Edit to my first pigman story, It was meant to Happen***********, After reviewing the last one I decided I didn't like it. Oh weeeeell :) So yea, This is the new one, I don't think I edited it so much, I just changed up words I thought were dull and added loads of fillers. It needed some dusting, ahah. I'm planning on writing at least one more Pigman fanfic, So, If you like this one, Make sure you stay alert for my next! Constructive criticism would be great from you brilliant people, I'm always trying to improve my writing skills, and what better place to get it than here? Read and Review please :]**

**Thanks to all the reviews I got on my old version of this story! I'd be glad if you re-read it, And tell me what you think you amazing people :]**

**Any ideas for my next Pigman? Sequel? Completely new? Send me some ideas! I'll gladly discuss and consider. **

**I still haven't read the second book, If there is one, So I have no idea how it's supposed to go, And I would appreciate no spoilers, I absolutely hate spoilers. Haha.**

**Love, Pen Thief**

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John lit up a smoke, looking somewhere beyond the walls of the small room. Pain was dangerously running through my veins, tightening every muscle in my body. Why on earth did I want to come here? The memories were still too fresh, and one still too painful. We witnessed the Pigman's death at the zoo many months ago, And still to this day I still blame myself for his death. I looked over at John, who had the cigarette firmly between his two fingers. "John," I began, but I bit my lip. "It wasn't our fault" He interrupted, and rolled his eyes slightly. I think he meant for me not to notice, as he quickly averted his eyes from my stare. I pressed my lips together in anger, the poison of it all rushing through my brain. "..He was going to die anyways, Lorraine" John added, and he shifted towards me. We both sat on the old sofa in the Pigman's living room. Everything was the same, No one had been here since his death. As his words sunk into me, I clenched my fists. "Don't say that!!" I exclaimed, And John flicked his cigarette butt into an empty flower pot. He didn't notice it, But his insane blue eyes were burning a stare through my brain. I looked down at my still hands that were placed gently on my lap, And the memories of when we first met Mr. Pignati crept into my thoughts. "Lorraine, look at me." John asked suddenly, and I pretended I didn't hear him, not that it helped anything. I couldn't help but feeling like we were responsible, We killed him. "Lorraine!" John demanded, And I shot a glare at him. It hurt to see the purple bruises on his porcelain white skin, basically reflecting off his face. I wanted to look away, I wanted to get out of the Pigman's house. I wanted to be somewhere, Anywhere but here. But something told me to go to the old man's house. It was the weirdest feeling I've ever had. "Why did you want to come here?" He asked, And I finally broke free of his stare, and looked down. It was like he read my mind. "I don't know" I half shrugged. I felt like such a fool. My eyes glanced around the room that I knew too well, and I felt as if the Pigman was sitting with us, smiling like he always did. I felt John's hands slowly creep up on either side of my jaw, and he locked his ocean blue eyes onto my less significant ones. His touch felt different, the goosebumps that immersed on my arms noticed too. "Are you okay?" He asked, his voice serious and firm. After a long pause, I nodded in my head, which I knew to myself was a lie. I think he knew too, because his hands lowered, and he pulled me into an embrace. I immediately closed my eyes, and sighed into his sweater. "What are you doing...?" I said suddenly, not even realizing what I said until after it left my lips. John loosened his grip, and looked at me strangely. He looked hurt in some way, I don't know. "Please, that's not what I meant" I said while rubbing my forehead. I had no clue what I was saying. I was so confused with myself and everything.. I felt like my own thoughts weren't even mine. John pulled me into another tight hug, and I could slightly smell shaving lotion. It made me smile to myself a little, I don't even know why, I just did. "To answer your question, I'm hugging you" John winked. He didn't hide the confusion in his voice, I think he was as confused as I was. I paused, and looked at him. "Smart ass.." I stated.

It felt like hours had passed in the dead silence, and it probably did. I was laying against John's chest, while he was lying down on the old sofa. I was thinking about everything, well, more in particular about the Pigman. I looked up at him, and he was staring at me. He looked like he was about to say something, but to my dismay, he never did. "Yes?" I finally asked, and he bit his lip. "Just pretend for a second.." John finally said, and I sent him a confused look. "Pretend that the Pigman didn't die, pretend that we never met him. Please, Lorraine, Just pretend for a second." John explained. I was confused, his voice was so serious, it practically scared me. I nodded slightly, and closed my eyes. I breathed deeply, trying to rid my mind of everything that happened. I had no idea why I was even doing this. I felt blank, and everything around me disappeared except for the rupturing beat of John's heart that sent waves through my body. It must have been hours that I had my eyes closed, staring into the darkness. I was embracing the calmness around me, and then I finally opened my eyes. John was staring at me closely, And I bit my lower lip. "John" I half-smiled, and he returned it. He brushed a strand of my sun-kissed hair out of my face, and smirked a little. "I think I love you Lorraine" He whispered. It made my breathing stop. I held onto his words desperately, replaying them in my head, making sure he actually said what he did. "Don't say I'm an idiot, Don't say that you're not good enough, Just.. Don't say anything!" John demanded. I wanted to scream, I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to scream just for the hell of it. I rested into his arms, And I took a deep breath. "I love you too" As the words left my lips, I felt as light as the air. John smiled as if someone just handed him a million dollars. I love that smile. "I told you not to say anything" He laughed slightly, and his large eyes scanned my face. I wish I was immune to that stare. That's when everything rushed back. The pain of the Pigman's death rushed through my veins, I had actually forgotten. How could I forget!?

My expression must have turned, Or my eyes must have shifted back into the darkness, because John knew immediately. "Hey!" He said in an annoyed tone, and I looked at him for a few moments. His delicate blue eyes scanned my face, and he looked as confused as hell. "The Pigman.. I killed him. I killed Mr. Pignati. I'm a murderer! I murdered him!" Then I hid my face against his chest. I don't know where it came from, but I suddenly sobbed. And after I sobbed once, I couldn't help it. I began an uncontrollable fit of crying and sobbing. John hugged me so tight; I thought my head was going to explode. He ran his fingers though my golden hair, and then slid his hand under my chin. He lifted my face to his slowly, and he dried my wet cheeks with his sweater. "It's not your fault" He said finally, and I shook my head. "We killed him!" I yelled, and began to sob more. "We killed him" I repeated, and John pulled me against his chest. His soft sweater nuzzled my cheek, and I closed my eyes. "We killed him.." I continued.

I finally had calmed down my crying a few minutes later, and I rested comfortably against his chest. I don't know how long it was.. But it was long. I couldn't stop thinking about the Pigman, His memory was haunting my mind. "I don't know how to convince you, Lorraine" He said suddenly. I looked up in surprise, I forgot I was there. I forgot I was on him. Oh god.. I'm crazy. "It wasn't anyone's fault.. And if you can't believe it, I don't know what you'll believe" John said. His words had such an impact on me.. The way he said it, the way he sounded when he said it. You could tell he meant it. I realized at that moment that he was hurt too, that it just wasn't me. He also had to go through this with me, and maybe he actually did love the Pigman too. It took me a few minutes of thinking about it.. And when I made my decision, I looked up at him. "I believe it" I smiled slightly, and he gave me that one smile he did when I told him I love him. I love that smile. I couldn't help but still feel the heavy pain on my heart, though. I didn't feel guilty, which felt like I just lost a thousand pounds.

_"Come to me, my darling!"_

_We were both laughing so hard we could hardly speak._

_"One kiss is all I ask!"_

_It was the first time we had ever kissed._

_"To the Pigman"_

That was it. The Pigman- He brought so much to our lives. He wasn't to be mourned like this. He didn't want us to be sad. He brought joy to our lives, and he wanted to leave joy in our hearts. If we would have never known the Pigman, John and I probably never would have been able to connect like this. The Pigman was something special; he affected everything, in a good way. Remembering the first time me and John kissed, I realized that Mr. Pignati was at peace; He brought peace and left it. No matter how many tears we shed, nothing will bring him back. But that's okay. He's happy. And I will do everything I can to affect people like he did. I smiled inside myself. Just like John had once proposed, To the Pigman.

I looked up at him, and smiled. I leaned up into him, and captured his breath with my lips against his. He pulled me so close to him; it felt like we shared each others warmth. John and I were in love. I parted my lips slightly, and John quickly engulfed my lips in his. Our lips and bodies moved in rhythm, and I felt the tips of our tongues touched in the slightest, and I had a shock run down my rib cage like a lightening bolt. It was amazing. His lips tickled mine, and I couldn't help but parting from him a little to let a burning giggle escape from my throat. He smiled at me, and kissed my cheek. My lips beamed a fierce smile, at him and to myself. I smelled his breath, I smelled his shaving lotion... I ran my fingers thought his combed hair and pressed my body against his. I breathed quickly, and I felt his eyelashes against my cheek. "John" I said quietly. "Yea?" He responded. "I'm done with being sad and blaming you and me for the Pigman's death.. It was meant to happen. He brought so much into our lives. We had so much fun, and he didn't want to leave us... Well more, me, like this." I explained. I wanted to say more, but I really didn't know how to put it. I looked at John, and his face was erupting with excitement. "You would never believe how happy that makes me" He assured, and I believed it. The look on his face was of that I've never seen before. I could look at him for hours. "You make me happy" I told him, and I wasn't lying. At that point, John was all I wanted. I couldn't think of anything else in the entire world that would make me happier than John being right here with me.

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